Picking Up Strange Frequencies on "The Afterthought"

by Bratzilla

Even werewolves, zombies and vampires purportedly like listening to music, and we do too! So for this reason, and many others, we were scared silly to discover that “The Afterthought” mastermind David McWade would be laying down more spooky tracks as part of his annual Goth Halloween show this Sunday and next from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. on 92.1 WPTS FM. And, this isn’t your typical monster mash either because, with David, you can always expect a few obscurities to be released from the vault no matter what time of year you listen to his show.

Without giving too much away, we have it on good authority from McWade himself that you might just hear from the likes of such creeptastic crooners and beastly bands as Nick Cave (pictured left), Bauhaus, Lowlife, Clan of Xymox, Cocteau Twins, Jill Tracy, Legendary Pink Dots/Edward Ka-spel, and Dead Can Dance, among many others, this year. So, don’t miss out on the chance to fill your next two Sunday afternoons with the beautiful sounds of doom and gloom no matter where you live. Whether you listen on the radio, or online by visiting the WPTS website and selecting the “Listen” tab, your rotting little ears are certainly in for a terrible treat!

Spiraling into Madness at Hundred Acres Manor

By Brizblack

Traveling down a dark and remote road leading deep into the bowels of South Park, Bratzilla and I reluctantly attended Hundred Acres Manor for the first time this Halloween season. I say “reluctantly because of our fear of being disappointed: I consider myself to be very pessimistic about things that are highly praised these days. Happily, we were horrified and impressed by what we found deep within this urban forest.

Upon our arrival, we were immediately enthralled by the monstrous castle façade complete with very realistic-looking and creepy stained glass windows. Turns out the disturbed and demented creatures inside would be equally captivating as our trip through the Manor resulted in me both having temporary hearing loss (due to nearly 40 minutes of Bratzilla’s screaming) and feelings of great relief that the haunt—which has been named as one of the top in the country—was worthy of the hype.

Unfortunately, haunts by nature and design can often be mere gimmicks to make a fast buck by moving people through as quickly as possible without regard to their enjoyment and experience, or respect for the act of haunting, which is so sacred to many of us freaks and creeps. Hundred Acres Manor, however, is a haunter’s temple, filled with décor, props and actors that astound and terrify those who dare pay for the pleasure of exploring such a fiendish design. Here’s what sets it apart from the myriad black plastic nightmares that call themselves “haunted attractions”:

Variety – From the entrance funeral scene to the ghastly Tool and Die Shop, and the many points in between, Hundred Acres Manor allows its patrons to explore such a great variety of locales that your sense of wonder is always piqued. Variety also comes in the form of lighting, scare angles, ratios of human actors versus props, and the physical environments, which sometimes require you to duck, scramble down walkways, or squeeze through tight passages.

Attention to Detail – It is obvious that every inch, whether it be Hundred Acres Manor’s gothic castle exterior or the main entrance of the decaying South Valley Hospital, is painstakingly hand crafted. I cannot recall one aspect of the haunt that did not powerfully contribute to the haunted experience.

Acting – All of the actors, from those with speaking parts to those whose jobs were to scare and flee, performed their roles with an exactness that exemplifies the importance of both actor training and having the right people. Although Hundred Acres Manor is a high traffic and long running haunt, each actor’s energy level was very high, even late at night.

Queue Line Management – Queue line management was very good, although there were a few spots where we had a group behind us on our heels. Most of the time, however, we felt as if we were left to explore the Manor and ward off its horrid denizens on our own. This is a great achievement considering the amount of patrons passing through its abysmal halls.

Value – Admission to Hundred Acres Manor is $16. We spent almost 40 highly interactive and engrossing minutes in the haunt, and we were moving at a fairly brisk pace. Although the maze portion can get pretty tedious after a while, there are rarely any moments where you feel like a scene is merely being used as filler. Most of your time in the haunt is either spent taking in the props, décor and costumes, or being scared.

Heart – Hundred Acres Manor is 100% volunteer run and its profits (after expenses) go to two great, LOCAL nonprofits: Homeless Children’s Education Fund and Animal Friends. I don’t think I need to say anymore about that!

So if you are like me and have a death grip on your wallet and worry about how to best spend your time during this deadly time of year, do yourself a favor and visit Hundred Acres Manor. The evil masterminds behind the attraction really understand what goes into making a good haunt and are meticulous about the kind of experience that patrons have when they dare to visit. You won’t be disappointed!

P.S. We are now on Twitter. Follow @PGHExhumed for updates and terrorific news all year long!

Going Underground with the Cannibals at Terror Town

By Brizblack

Pittsburgh’s newest haunted house, Terror Town, twists and turns around the gigantic basement below Club Zoo, which we older yinzers remember as being the home of Metropol and Rosebud. Prior to visiting, Bratzilla and I read a great article on the space supposedly being haunted and so, with bellies full of veggie Kung Pao and bladders bursting with endless pots of oolong tea, we decided to check it out on opening weekend.

Although I have been around the block as far as haunting is concerned, I must say that I walked toward the Terror Town façade with some of those old, familiar moths in my stomach. The alleged “real” haunting, the industrial locale, the lack of any reviews (because it was only the second night that it had EVER been open), and the fact that we did not see one human being lurking outside led my imagination a little astray. And, of course, Bratzilla’s well-vocalized and -displayed nervousness did not help in deterring visions of me releasing my oolong tea somewhere near the second scene.

But although it took a little bit to find the main entrance to Terror Town, and despite the fact that there weren’t any other patrons to speak of, we finally forced our way inside, quickly paying and walking through the foggy pallet maze to the haunt’s front door. While psyched that we didn’t have to wait in line, we were also more than a little freaked out by the screams and bangs coming from the walls, and the fact that we were alone and about to enter an immense haunt without knowing what was inside.

It was with this apprehension that we were thrown into the first scene, where we learned from a gruesome funeral director that the underground community inhabitants we would soon meet had run out of food and thought of a great way to restock: invite patrons like Bratzilla and me down for dinner. The majority of time that we then spent in the haunt involved us having to avoid being eaten, or turning a deaf ear to captured patrons who begged us to liberate them from a certain culinary fate.

Without giving away the gory details of our journey, I will say that if you choose to spend your hard-earned cash on a visit to this macabre haunt, you will endure a very unique experience, simply because Terror Town has a lot going for it. Although Bratzilla and I were treated to a highly-immersive trip as two of very few “living” entities there the night we went, I believe that even on the busiest late October nights you will find a tour through the rotting bowels of this foul place to be ghoulishly special.

Here are some of the aspects to Terror Town that make it a one-of-a-kind haunt:

Atmosphere – The fact that the haunt takes place in a musty, dusty, foggy, and “haunted” warehouse built in the early 1900s gives it a huge advantage over almost every other haunt I have ever been to. The entrance, which is in a dark alley in the Strip District, is a great set-up for evoking the “I may leave this place with some sort of infection” feel that exists in the subterranean world of Terror Town.

Story Line – I found the storyline about a fully imagined community whose citizens have run out of food and must lure people like me and you into their world so they can eat us to be pretty cool and effective in its ability to tie together the great variety of scenarios that play out. It also worked well to support the interactivity of Terror Town, where you‘re constantly reminded of your role as “dinner.”

Actors – Most of the actors played their parts with intensity and creativity. From those with leading roles to those whose only purpose was to jump out at you, each seemed to bring their own “takes” on their characters. One we found very interesting was a creepy, shy creature who lived in a room full of dismantled mannequins and kept asking us to tell him about what life was like “up there.”

Variety – There is a great variety of scenes, frights and actors inside Terror Town, but all stay within the ghastly cannibalism theme instead of incorporating a mish-mash of unrelated ideas. This is quite a feat for a new haunt and it definitely allowed us to more fully immerse ourselves in the story.

Overall, Terror Town is a very good haunt. It does not have the precision of some of the more venerable local haunts that we’ll soon review but, in some ways, that is what made our experience visiting this first-year fright spot so memorable. I look forward to many more years experiencing Terror Town’s evolution, as I believe that it will continue to take a creative approach to haunting that will allow it to set itself apart in a city that is quickly becoming a Mecca of all things spooky.

Tales from the Crypt at the Allegheny Observatory

by Bratzilla

While we didn’t intentionally set out for a night of terror at the Allegheny Observatory, we were driven there by the allure of the North Side (which incidentally has a pretty heinous history that we’ll save for another overcast day) and the fact that any building constructed in the early 1900s has to be inherently creepy. And, honestly, we liked the idea of a free tour, and have an unhealthy obsession with aliens and outer space.

But, boy, were we thrilled when we overheard a guy from the National Weather Service telling some other guys from who knows where that there were dead people in the basement. We immediately turned to each other with a “holy shit” look, and it was all we could do to stand still while we waited to hear about whether or not said dearly departed would be on the tour.

Completed in 1912, purposely built further up the hill from the original 1859 location (later sold to the Protestant Orphan Asylum) on account of air pollution, the Observatory is a work of art. With a grand exterior that pays homage to famous brains from Copernicus to Newton, the view alone is worth the trip. Inside, the old portraits of long-gone astronomers, stained glass window with hidden Masonic symbols, and wooden domes with peeling paint are also ghost approved as far as we are concerned.

After watching our tour guides handle some really big telescopes, open domes and move floors, we got to look at a nebula, a star that died 20,000 years ago, from 1,400 light years away. It pretty much looked like a faint smoke ring, but it was deceased, so we liked it a lot. But the highlight, of course, was the crypt. The final resting place for the ashes of former directors James Edward Keeler and John Brashear is reachable by descending a narrow, spiraling staircase reminiscent of a Hitchcock movie. The crypt itself is a rounded room with tiled walls – an odd little place that feels more like a tiny locker room bathroom than a tomb – but it was macabre nonetheless. We couldn’t imagine loving any job so much that we’d actually want to be buried at work, but to each his or her own. Astronomers are a strange lot and we’re not even going to try to figure them out.

As to be expected, the Allegheny Observatory guides were true space nerds, and this added an extra layer of awesome to the experience. We loved their dry senses of humor and highly recommend adding this tour to your list of things to do before you walk among the undead. Tours are free with advance reservations on Thursday (May – August) and Friday (April – October) nights. The Observatory also offers refreshments and public presentations on topics like “Galaxy Destruction in the Violent Universe.” We are told these are wildly popular so you need to make arrangements far in advance to attend. That said, there must be way more geeks in Pittsburgh than we thought.

Raising Hell at The Oaks Theater

by Bratzilla

As horror fans, most of us are well trained to embrace, and find no shortage of thrills in, “the unknown.” After making plans to see Clive Barker’s Hellraiser – one of Brizblack’s favorite movies of all time – at The Oaks Theater in Oakmont, we were appeased enough just to experience it on the big screen. But when the unexpected happened, and our most beloved cenobite turned up in the flesh, our souls were nearly torn apart with excitement.

With a well-earned place in horror history as the iconic Pinhead, Doug Bradley lurks somewhere in the brains of most people – even if they have no idea what his real name is. Tall, pale and bald like his character, when the man who’s caused countless people to literally or figuratively crap their pants since the 80s strolled up to the front of the theater, the entire crowd was captivated. And, as he began to speak, graciously spending an hour answering questions, there was no mistaking the dark shades of Pinhead discernable in “real life” Bradley, who was similarly smart and in control.

So why the hell did our dear sadist friend materialize in the theater? Well, naturally our initial assumption was that one of The Oaks proprietors somehow got a hold of “the box,” but the less fantastic answer is that he is moving to Pittsburgh. Yes, you heard right, Pinhead is going to be a yinzer! And, if that wasn't news enough, Bradley also announced that he’d be appearing in a local film called Scream Park gratis and might consider getting involved in other projects, too.

At the end of the day, more awesome than this experience is the place that made it possible. As Bradley said himself, we are so fortunate to have a cinema like The Oaks. A 430-seat single screener since 1938, the theater, with its Twin Peaks-esque red curtains, is spacious and stunning. And, more importantly, they regularly show great films. Most notably, we saw Hobo with a Shotgun here (if you haven’t seen this yet you are in for a blood-drenched treat) and a National Theatre Live production of Danny Boyle’s stage rendition of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein that was incredible as well.

Looking ahead at dread to come, upcoming Moonlit Matinees include Let the Right One In, Silence of the Lambs, Amityville Horror, the Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, and Halloween 4, and we also recommend that you keep your eyes and ears open for other impromptu events that may creep up. So, now that you are in the know about The Oaks, you need only ask yourself one question: What is your pleasure?

Gathering with Ghouls and Madmen at Horror Realm

By Bratzilla

What do zombies, chainsaw wielding maniacs and giant rubber monsters have in common? Well, okay, maybe quite a lot. But rarely do you conveniently find them all in one place like you do at conventions like Horror Realm. Fellow creeps, all we can say is that last weekend’s convention was epic. In a rancid nut shell, here’s what you missed.

Right off the bat, within 15 minutes of check-in to be exact, our beagle Jasper turned into a zombie. Yes, you read that right. No, we didn’t actually bring him to the convention but rather a photo from which Jonny Axx, an extremely talented artist, good spiritedly drew our dog’s portrait despite the fact that he personally doesn’t believe animals can contract the virus that creates zombies. (And he should know, too, because along with David Fairhead, he is a co-creator of the World Zombie Wrestling Association.)

As far as we were concerned, the night could have ended right there but we decided to stick around for a while and check out the local talent at the Horror Cabaret hosted by Dawn of the Dead star Mr. Ken Foree. The blood curdling line-up included selections from Evenings in Quarantine: The Zombie Opera (a fantastic production that will rot the damn flesh right off your bones) and a mentalist who skillfully manipulated select audience members' brains. But it was Pittsburgh legend Weird Paul who really got our hearts pumping again as he belted out “Human Eye,” a lovely ballad that’ll forever be in our skulls.  

The next day was all about panels. We were blown away by the devilish wit of Joe Bob Briggs, drive-in movie critic and MonsterVision host, as he told tales from his B-movie past. Later, Bill Moseley, “Chop Top” in Tobe Hooper’s 1986 follow-up to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and “Otis B. Driftwood” in Rob Zombie’s House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects, nearly cracked our ribs too as he talked about early career days when he couldn’t even find work as a corpse. For someone who's so terrifying on screen, he is probably one of the nicest actors you’ll ever meet.

Severed hands down, the ultimate experience, however, had to be the Bastards of Horror Short Film Fest. There is, perhaps, nothing we love to death quite as much as indie horror films. And when it comes to this genre, no one knows it better than Tim Gross and Charlie Fleming. From Nightmare at Bunnyman Bridge by a state trooper named Robert Elkins and a music video about a lonely beach bum who finds and then uses a corpse as a surf board to The Giant Rubber Monster Movie (watch this trailer!), these shorts were all great in their own ways and left us blood thirsty for more.

Really, we could go on for all eternity about the experiences we had – including randomly seeing special effects master Tom Savini shopping with his family in the dealer room – and all the genuine, talented people we met, but we all have our own rocks to crawl back under, so let us leave you with this: If you love horror and you live near Pittsburgh, come out and support this event next year. You have officially been warned.

Hanging at the Hollywood Theater

By Bratzilla

Okay, so maybe no one really hung themselves here. Well, at least not that we know of. We chose the recently resurrected Hollywood Theater in Dormont as our inaugural topic simply because it’s probably one of our most frequented haunts, and it’s pretty awesome.

Constructed in 1924 as billiard hall/bowling alley, the historic Hollywood Theater building didn’t officially became a single screen movie house until the ‘40s when it was purchased by Warner Bros. Later fated to die what seems like a thousand deaths with a series of owners and closures over the years, the Hollywood has more recently risen from the ashes once again to become a horror junky’s nightmare come true. So far, we’ve seen a dozen movies here – the highlights being Army of Darkness (one of the few films we’ve attended this year that actually elicited applause afterwards) and Caustic Zombies, directed by local horror maverick Johnny Daggers.

This summer, as part of a ramp up effort for the long anticipated 2011 Horror Realm Convention (the evil brain child of Hollywood board member Sandy Stuhlfire) the theater hosted 12 Weeks of Horror, showing classics like White Zombie and Carnival of Souls. At a screening of The Brain That Wouldn’t Die, they even incorporated some live action, rolling out a lab table, complete with severed head, pickled eyeballs and bubbling brains. And, yes, we even preceded a twelve year old in putting our noggins on the tray like “Jan the Pan” (see left).

If you haven’t been here yet, you really need to go. While we’re not always talking 35mm prints, who are we to be film snobs? The experience of seeing a movie on a screen larger than our TVs is still great. Add some super cheap candy and popcorn (refreshments here are really affordable) that makes you feel hung over the next day and it gets even better.

Every time we go to the Hollywood, which we should also mention is also a nonprofit, there are never as many seats filled as there should be. If you have any spare change, please give this fine establishment your pennies and you’ll get a lot in return … particularly in the forms of zombies, vampires and other ghouls. After all, da ‘Burgh would be a significantly lamer place without it.